Death is a funny thing, you know it's coming and that it will happen eventually, but it still comes as a shock when its finally here. My grandfather died this morning, very peacefully in his sleep his lungs just stopped working, which is as much as I could have asked for.
Now I hate to be all morbid, but my life these days seems to be filled with morbidity these days.
When I die, I want to die in a car wreck. I don't want to be kept in a hospital on life support for years or watch myself slowing loosing the strength to keep living, I just want to die.
Whenever I get in a fight with Mitch he always makes sure that I never leave upset, because he knows that if one day I never made it back to him, and the last things he said to me were worlds of anger, he wouldn't be able to live with himself; and frankly it's a wonderful philosophy to live by. We never know what could happen, we could live forever or we could live 'till next tuesday, so why wait to apologize?
The world works in strange ways, and maybe my grandfather died so a baby could be born, or maybe he died so my mom could survive her cancer. It makes me question our 'purpose' and why we're here in the first place. Do we have a 'purpose'? Does it really matter? All I know is that I want to solve problems, whether it be math problems or world problems I want to help the world become a better place.
There is ice on my window and a chill in my heart. The snow everywhere but I know that tomorrow is another day, when the sun will melt the snow and my smile will warm my heart.
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